In the name of Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T)
The most merciful and kind!
I witness there is no one worth of worship but Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) & Hazrat Muhammad (Sallalla Ho Alaihe Wa Alaihe Wassalum) is the final messenger.
To me nothing is more beloved then my Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) and his
Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallalla Ho Alaihe Wa Alaihe Wassalum)
Asalam-O-Alikum Wa Rahmet-Ullah He Wa Baraka-toho,
Anger comes when a person is not happy with the situation, had unpleasant arguments with someone, when someone is misbehaving or not acting as per expectations or crossing the limits, etc. Almost everyone gets anger, however everybody reacts differently. Some people control their anger while others just blast their anger out. Getting angry over an issue or person is not bad however how you react makes you a good or bad person.
One of the main root cause from where the anger comes is we want everything to be done in our way or according to our desires and when it turns out to be the other way around we got angry. Everyone want to rule over people and have them act according to their orders, while the other party or person is not willing to accept this because they either have the same desire of ruling over that person or they don’t want anyone to interfere in there life as they want to drive their own life. Due to these clashes between parties angriness comes into action. Another major reason is the expectations, we have so many expectations from others and when they are not met we got angry.
There has been a lot of discussion and counseling over anger management due to its importance. People while in angry mood losses their temper as well as most part of their brain. That’s why angry person can’t make a wise decision. There is also famous saying that don’t make decisions while you are angry and don’t agree to things when you are too happy. Because angry person will end up making a bogus decision and too much happiness will bring you agree on almost everything.
Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) like those people who control their anger and forgive others even when they are on right side and are in control to take revenge.
یہ وہ لوگ ہیں جو فراخی اور تنگی (دونوں حالتوں) میں خرچ کرتے ہیں اور غصہ ضبط کرنے والے ہیں اور لوگوں سے (ان کی غلطیوں پر) درگزر کرنے والے ہیں، اور اللہ احسان کرنے والوں سے محبت فرماتا ہے
اور جو لوگ کبیرہ گناہوں اور بے حیائی کے کاموں سے پرہیز کرتے ہیں اور جب انہیں غصّہ آتا ہے تو معاف کر دیتے ہیں
It is reported in a Hadith that the messenger of Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) Hazrat Muhammad (Sallalla Ho Alaihe Wa Alaihe Wassalum) said, “When Allah created His creations, He wrote on His Throne: ‘My Mercy has preceded My Anger’.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.545).
The most tolerant & forgivable person is our beloved Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (Sallalla Ho Alaihe Wassalum), who was very lenient to others and always ready to forgive his enemies. He was the best person who can control his anger without blasting on anyone, he never take any revenge from his enemies even when they hearted him the most, his battles were only for the sake of Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T). He never had any personal anxiety or bad feelings about anyone. His life is an open & enlighten book for us to follow if we want to be a good person, he also told us many ways to control our anger.
It is reported in a Hadith on the authority of Abu Huraira R.A. (Allah be pleased with him) that the messenger of Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) Hazrat Muhammad (Sallalla Ho Alaihe Wa Alaihe Wassalum) said, Strong person is not one who is good wrestler but the person who control his anger while he is angry.
Here are some ways you can do to control your anger.
- Ask Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) for forgiveness and protection from devil.
- Say Lahowla Wala Quwatta Illa Billa hil Aliyil Azim AND La Illa Ha Illa Anta Subhanaka Ini Kunto Minaz Zalimin.
- Change your position, like if you are standing up then sit down and if you are sitting down than lay down on the floor.
- Drink a glass of water and do ablution, devil is the one who tries to make fight among people, he is made from fire so when someone do ablution he walks away from that person.
- When the other person is yelling on you or using offensive language just keep quiet and don’t respond soon he will stop.
- Change your place; just get away from the place where you are getting anger from. If you get angry with some person change your room or leave the house for sometime, because the more you face that person or situation the more you will get angry.
- Treat others the same away you want to be treated and take utmost care of your loved ones. If you treat others well you will be treated the same way and vice versa.
- If someone has not obeyed you or have not done something as you were expecting than just think how much we have disobeyed our creator Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) and what If he punishes us for all those matters? By thinking that way you will be able to forgive that person and move on in life.
- Focus your mind on some other activity rather than thinking about the issue that is causing anger.
- Get yourself busy with something like some sport; get with some person or some other activity which makes you happy. Main theme is to get out of the situation you are in.
- If you are angry with someone over an issue, just imagine the positive things about that person or good time that you have spent with that person that will heal your anger up to some extent. If there is no such happy incident with that person then just think about some funny or happy incident which makes you laugh.
- Think broadly, why you would spoil your mood or get upset because of some creepy person? And try to be clam & relax. Even if you have some arguments with someone talk politely and never use any offensive language.
- Control your breathing, take some deep breathe. Just in-hale and ex-hale for ten seconds and do it for few times until you feel relax and calm.
- Sit in the company of good and happy people so you can be happy and forget the anger.
- Think about the whole situation which makes you angry and then calm your mind by telling yourself about each option that I can take it or let’s forgive it. Acts on forgive and forget policy; just imagine that you are kind and great person that can forgive even when someone had hearted you. After you forgive you will feel relax and a better person. Also one should remember whoever forgive people, Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T) will have mercy on him/her and will save him/her from his punishments.
- Be practical, don’t get angry over too little issues, just don’t let your mind goo too far behind those little issues as they will take away happiness from you and will make you a cruel person.
- If someone got angry with you and you are afraid that the anger will become bigger the more we talk, in that situation say that person that we will talk over this issue later or when the anger is over or just say I will listen to whatever you want to say but no abusive language and loud voice.
- If you are in a situation where you have to work out a solution, what was the root cause of anger and then identify possible options and talk to that person at some later time when the mood is good about the possible options and came up with the agreed solution. You have to show patience and listen to the other as well as explaining him/her your thoughts too. You also need to think from the perspective of the other party just put yourself in his/her place.
- You can talk or get help from some friend and relatives if you think that there interfere can solve the problem and destroy anger among the parties.
- Talk to someone who cares about you; explain him about the whole situation and why you got angry. After you explained him the whole situation you will feel relax and like some burden has been lessen from you.
- Another way you can do it is just write whatever you have to say about that person or situation which made you angry and after sometime just torn that paper into many pieces.
- If nothing else works try to fight with your pillow thinking about the person who made you angry, like if you are hitting him instead of pillow.
- Anger could lead you to some serious health issues, such as high blood pressure, heart attack, depression, anxiety, colds, flu and problems with digestion so keep your health in mind before getting too much angry.
Rewards of controlling anger from Almighty ALLAH (S.W.T)
Hadhrat Moulânâ Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sâheb (Dâmat Barakâtuhum)
http://www.islameasy.org/treatment-of-anger.php
- The first hadith is, “One who controls his anger inspite of having strength to enforce it, Allah will fill his heart with Iman and peace.”
- The second hadith is: “One who controlled his anger, though he was able to enforce it, on the day of Qiyamah, Allah will call him in front of all the creation and allow him to choose any “Hoor he pleases to have”.
- The third hadith is: “On the day of Qiyamah, Allah will call out: “Stand up, whoever has a right upon me.” No one will stand up, except that person who forgave another’s mistakes in the world. Whoever earned this wealth and did actions of forgiveness only he will stand up to take his rewards from Allah on that day.”
- The fourth hadith is: “Anyone who wants high palaces and high stages in Jannah, should forgive the one oppressing him, he should give to the one who deprives him, and he should keep up relations and communication with one who severs ties.”
- The sixth hadith is: “One who holds back his anger, Allah will hold back His punishment from him.”